VANS Chat

[Trashbags 1,203]

The night of abusing panto's is upon us 

Good morning fellow thumb warriors

[CatManDoza 3,474]

21 minutes ago, Trashbags said:

The night of abusing panto's is upon us 

Good morning fellow thumb warriors

Ooooooooh yeah. The day of weds is upon us. Bit of warm up for pantos by ploughing my fields on farming sim! 

[Paulie 1,006]

Yeeeeees the night is here!

Been pretty busy but I am looking very much forward to the good old Panto crew mascotte night!

 

I also did notice the interesting bookshelf of the G and was also intriqued by the 2 Sovjet books, especially the metro one and with seeing the most beautiful metro stations of Russia with my own eyes I can say it is truly amazing and even mindblowing sometimes. I could wander around for hours in those stations just to look around and taking pictures 😅

Fun fact: In WWII some metro stations were even used to hold some save speeches and political gatherings, going hundreds of meters underground, the stations were safe and solid as a bunker and the chic and beautiful decorations gave it the feel of an opera hall. It was really amazing to see and feel in real life.

[doubleg213 746]

1 hour ago, Paulie said:

I also did notice the interesting bookshelf of the G and was also intriqued by the 2 Sovjet books, especially the metro one and with seeing the most beautiful metro stations of Russia with my own eyes I can say it is truly amazing and even mindblowing sometimes. I could wander around for hours in those stations just to look around and taking pictures 😅

 

I have quite a few books on Soviet architecture and photo books of lots of the abandoned military installations and such like as they are now. Plus obviously lots of stuff covering all of the constructivist style of art and the propaganda posters (in September I started a Rune Cheburek advert in a constructivist propaganda poster style, which like many things got abandoned due to the depression), I love all of that kind of stuff. 

Also got quite a lot architecture books, I think I hate brutalist buildings, however, I have loads of books on them and love looking at them. So it seems their ugliness has some  appeal to me for whatever reason.

I have two more assignments to finish off and that's all of my coursework done for this year, then two exams which I am not overly concerned about. 

The aim is that I can get done with my coursework by the end of this weekend at the latest (and that's applying almost zero pressure to myself as they aren't due for much longer so I then still have room to tinker with them if I wanted to) and then basically I am done with Uni till September 2021.

Which means it's just my business, spending some time on learning but just focusing on the stuff I've not done well in and/or I am interested in and being able to get back to f*cking about with some arty stuff. Which is something that is very therepeutic, even when sometimes it's utter garbage that I never let any of you see, even Chubb who sees a LOT of my unfinished artwork. 

Think I'm going to pull the trigger on a Cintiq once we've got a bit more freedom of movement again and I am back to some instructing at the rally school and have that income back as well. 

[Paulie 1,006]

I feel you G. The strange times we live in does influence a lot, directly or indirectly. 

 

Very good point about the ugliness of buildings that can have some appeal, this goes very well for the stalinist architecture in Russia, if you see it in real life it is very impressive and it really gives a certain vibe that's very hard to discribe exactly. But big bulky and greyish concrete buildings or landmarks can be very majestic!

 

I had my eye on a Cintiq for a while, worked with the old Wacom tablets for years but I felt I never used it to it's full potential. Nothing beats the old pen(cil) and paper 😎💪 but to still have the abilty to trace of draw something quick digitally I bought to a laptop/tablet in one with a stylus pen. But don't compare that to Wacom products though 😅 nothing can beat that.

[Hurst 484]

On 5/4/2020 at 7:47 AM, Trashbags said:

Are u back safe and sound 

Yes son. Been settling back in the past few days and will hop online shortly!

Ive been taking the past few days screen and tech free. I’ve been on your iPad for the last two months as there was sweet fffff*ck awwwwll to do. 

[doubleg213 746]

Didn't manage to get on last night, it got to about 6 and I decided I couldn't face interacting with anyone. I have rare bouts of being vaguely back to being me (see my occasional bursts of posting and what not) but then get all f*cky again and retreat.

@Paulie It's not really a current times thing for me, this has been an ongoing thing for about 18 to 24 months at least. Definitely been the worst bout of it I've ever had, and that includes spending a year off work in my mid 20s, but I was deep enough in it that I wasn't totally seeing it, even though I knew, if that makes sense. 

It's only really been with the guy from Uni who I am doing some work with and who lives around the corner from me who, as such sees me way more than anyone else pushing a bit as obviously he's seen the slope occurring and the periods of being "normal" and having plans and then within hours everything being hopeless. 

My other half lives about an hour away from me and I stopped in at hers on the way back from working at the rally school about 8 or 9 weeks ago and it was the first time she'd seen me properly on the really down section, she'd known I was having issues and pissed off with Uni, but that was the first time she'd seen me really in one. She has a masters in psychology (although she works in marketing so only uses her powers for evil) and so gave me a push into seeing someone as that night she immediately spotted it was actually beyond just being a bit f*cked off with things.

Generally the lock down has seen improvement if anything as I've got a bit more breathing room even with having assignments and sh*t to sort out.

Worst thing has been with it affecting my memory which is not something I've ever had it do to me in the past, so that's really been f*cking with me as far as Uni goes, when we're doing calculations or whatever and I know I am capable of doing them, but it just wasn't working which obviously was then getting me mega stressed out and then not helping the cycle.

 

 

 

 

 

And a cheery morning to the rest of you!

 

[Paulie 1,006]

@Hurst yes mate very good to hear you are safe and back. Hope to see you again online soon.

 

@doubleg213 I really feel sorry for you and I understand it very well, in my case the whole situation at this moment gets me down at some points and I was assuming this may also be the case for you. I have been struggling with it since my mid twenties and it comes and goes in peaks and lows. I am lucky to have someone on my side now that understands me like no one else does and knows and feels when things are going down and how to best 'handle' me. This is a blessing and there were moments that if I wasn't with her I did not know what I would do with myself. So this is also why I very much feel you G, even when we like to be on ourselves mostly, a person on the side that knows you and what is going on can help very much.

I've also often been told to talk to a professional but personally I will never do that because I don't trust them and over here you get labeled permanently and forced to take some drugs (the legal but bad ones). Maybe I can say this a bit easy because I have the misses there when needed and if that were not the case I honestly don't know what would have happened.

Friends and family did also get me through some tough stages at times but nowadays that's also getting less and less and that's pretty hard at times. I say things people around me don't want to hear so this way I am isolating myself more and more, especially in these twisted times but I rather do that than walking in line and living in lies.

Submerging in things we love, artsy stuff for example, can really help to get away from it all but unfortunately that's mostly for a moment only. 

I really hope it all will turn around a bit for you G and that you'll be able to do the things you love with a passion and in all your strenght again.

 

 

[JuniorChubb 3,360]

@doubleg213 we are here if you need anything.

Online friends are great, we are only a message away and don't come with the stress and responsibility of real world friends.

Drop me a message if you need a chat.

[CatManDoza 3,474]

56 minutes ago, JuniorChubb said:

@doubleg213 we are here if you need anything.

Online friends are great, we are only a message away and don't come with the stress and responsibility of real world friends.

Drop me a message if you need a chat.

I was trying to say that, but I couldn't find an easy way. 

It takes a lot to share those thoughts as well gents, think that's part of my problem, I don't share, I keep everything to myself, so I say fair play to you both for sharing. 

I defo agree with chubb though, we as online friends don't come with any baggage or judgement, we just take the p*ss. 

[doubleg213 746]

Cheers chaps.

I know different people have different ways of how they would say it affects them, the only way I can ever describe what if feels like to me is that it makes me feel heavy (and not just because I'm a fast b*stard right now), like constantly having to drag a load of weights around with you. That and just generally feeling tired, hence the absence a lot beginning at the tail end of last year. Just getting up and going about my daily business was wiping me out, by the time I was getting home any interest in pretty much anything as I'd more or less given everything I had to give just pushing through the day. 

But even that isn't constant, there are brief periods where I am totally back to being more or less me, but it's typically been a couple of hours at most. 

Overall I've seen some improvement over the last couple of weeks, but that's not without it's troughs as well. 

Very much looking forward to Uni being over and done with for the next and being back to old self-employed/semi retired mentality for the next 18 months or so. 

Still will have a lot of stuff to do, but at least I'll be back to focusing on my own projects and returned to freedom. 

[Aslad 376]

@doubleg213 firstly I spied a Max Hastings book, good taste there 😉 I'm into my WWII / Cold War and beyond history so have a few of his books amongst many other history ones.

Secondly, as Chubb already said, we're all here for you. While I can't say I fully understand what you're experiencing, I can go some of the way. I've had some really bad weeks recently too, obviously with the crash and loss of Greg, my laptop repeatedly deciding it has a mind of its own and doesn't always want to turn on (f*ckin up my uni work), uni giving absolutely no concessions despite the fact we can't access or run half the software we need for our coursework, financially in a very bad spot as my shifts are down to 3 hours every 2 weeks at the moment and I was already quite badly in debt (oh the student life), having to totally isolate from my family due to me working (I'm literally in my room 24/7 except for a daily walk) and several other things. I've felt repeatedly like my life and world is falling apart around me and it's a hopeless, horrible feeling. 

That being said, it always helps to talk - even if it's semi-anonymous like on here. I'm lucky that I have some great friends who persistently checked up on me and I'm eternally grateful for them because I was in a seriously bad place for a long time, even before the crash and I genuinely don't know what I'd have done without them. It's also why I haven't been anywhere near as active on here as I used to be - though the majority of that is just uni workload, even when I was free sometimes I just didn't have it in me to communicate with anyone. 

So even if you don't want to talk, please know we're all here. I hope you haven't or don't go as low as I did, it's not a nice experience. 

Wishing all the best 🙂 

[Trashbags 1,203]

Morni8ng all 

Think most ofg us r struggling in 1 way ot another at the moment and a problem shared and all that really helps only time will tell whats going to happen in yhr future buy doubt it eill br amything like before keep ur chins up gents big lovr to u all

 

[JuniorChubb 3,360]

Morning all 😊

 

Also @CatManDoza I got outbid on the Ferrari trailer set!!!

[Trashbags 1,203]

12 minutes ago, JuniorChubb said:

Morning all 😊

 

Also @CatManDoza I got outbid on the Ferrari trailer set!!!

Mr chubbington good morning and good day we having a srsh tonight if so what we playing 

[JuniorChubb 3,360]

1 minute ago, Trashbags said:

Mr chubbington good morning and good day we having a srsh tonight if so what we playing 

Yup, I wanna get on and want to test my creative stuff so I can publish a bloody island at last!

[Trashbags 1,203]

6 minutes ago, JuniorChubb said:

Yup, I wanna get on and want to test my creative stuff so I can publish a bloody island at last!

Sounds like a plan 

[CatManDoza 3,474]

33 minutes ago, JuniorChubb said:

Morning all 😊

 

Also @CatManDoza I got outbid on the Ferrari trailer set!!!

f*ckin hell chubb you should of said, I'd have sent it you for nothing mate

[JuniorChubb 3,360]

10 minutes ago, CatManDoza said:

f*ckin hell chubb you should of said, I'd have sent it you for nothing mate

Thought it cause some lols when you saw I had won it, I lost track and some muppet got in and beat me!

[CatManDoza 3,474]

41 minutes ago, JuniorChubb said:

Thought it cause some lols when you saw I had won it, I lost track and some muppet got in and beat me!

I probs wouldn't have noticed. I'd of been like "hmmmm I defo recognise the name, but I just can't place it!" 

[JuniorChubb 3,360]

@CatManDoza how dare you snub me!

Will be on soon guys, just need to wait for Bing to finish his work, then I can do my Joe Wick then jump on.

[CatManDoza 3,474]

10 minutes ago, JuniorChubb said:

@CatManDoza how dare you snub me!

Will be on soon guys, just need to wait for Bing to finish his work, then I can do my Joe Wick then jump on.

Bit early aye ya. Still got my VE Day street party to do

[JuniorChubb 3,360]

1 hour ago, CatManDoza said:

Bit early aye ya. Still got my VE Day street party to do

[CatManDoza 3,474]

23 minutes ago, JuniorChubb said:

I'll hopefully be on this eve if your still about. All depended on how an afternoon of bbq food and beer goes down. 

I did some patriotism in my garden though... 

Edited May 8, 2020 by CatManDoza

[doubleg213 746]

I'm aiming on finishing my two assignments today. 

Although the procrastination is strong, the problem is it's a manufacturing module and it's way below the level I and my business associate are knowledgeable so there is essentially zero gain from it. 

The fact I'm doing one on Ford Puma competition parts and the other on carbon metallic/carbon ceramic brake pads isn't even enough to make me particularly invested.

I'm having to right about machining a part from Aluminium for Uni, but in none uni world we're working on designing/building some carbon fibre suspension arms for one of the BMW's.

So, essentially for this module I have to dumb down to the level of the degree. Fun, fun, fun.

At least once I've finished procrastinating and actually churn this out I'm done!

 

Edit: It's also turned out that we can output from Catia directly to svg with any of the parts we've done in there. This pleases me more than it probably should do. Means I can really go to town with any promotional stuff as I can get some lovely stuff if I can play with it in Illustrator. 

 

 

 

Edited May 8, 2020 by doubleg213