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Squirrel_Army's Guide To Dating - Online Dating Guide - Part 1


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Domestic Battery was founded as a gaming crew for couples. Somewhere you could happily blow your partners brains out and not worry about the long arm of the door knocking on your door.

Other couples have been formed after meeting on this site. Dani and Jesse were the 1st and are now in an international relationship, they were soon followed by Wraign and Ern who now live together.

Many of our other members have been happily married for years. All great stories but what about the singletons of the crew?

In the last 5-10 years the world of dating has been turned on its head. Of course I'm talking about online dating. What used to be seen as a strange and desperate tactic for the lonely has now become mainstream and accepted as the best way of meeting a new person.

It's well known that I'm a keen participant of dating websites, I've had lots of experience when it comes to plentyoffish.com and tinder plus some of the newer ones on the market, each offering a new way to meet people. I'm not a fan of the dating sites you have to pay a subscription for, after all I'm a Yorkshireman, I'm not going to pay for something that I could get for free so I can't really advise on those.

You have to remember is there is no such thing as a bad date, yes some dates are doomed from the off but every new date you go on gives you a little more experience, you learn what not to look out for on a profile and can soon spot the early signs on whether you're going to be suitable or not.

The cornerstone of online dating is your profile. It's the thing that either attracts or repulses potential dates. While there isn't a guide to what makes the perfect profile there are many things you shouldn't do or show on there. We'll start with the picture

The term a picture tells a thousand words has never being as important as in the online dating world. It's the eyecatcher that makes you stand out compared to the page full of other dating rivals. On a site like POF, your picture will randomly appear alongside others on the main screen. If someone is doing a search then your profile picture will be in a list amongst people of a similar age, height and local area so these are your direct competition.

Firstly don't try to hide, having a display picture that isn't of you will instantly throw alarm bells in a potential date. If they can't see you because its a very blurred shot, a strategically placed face angle or even a cartoon image a potential date is always going to think what are you trying to hide.

Don't worry that you don't look like a Greek Adonis or have the perfect swimsuit body. 99% of the people online are in the same boat. Hiding yourself just leads to disappointment later on, when you meet someone for the 1st time if they aren't what you expect then the date is usually off to a bad start. Definitely don't use a picture from the internet either that isn't of you. Google image search is a wonderful tool. If someone looks too hot to be on dating site then they usually aren't real!

I've seen the following quote on a few girls profiles. "If you don't look like your picture then you're buying the drinks until you do"

Other big no no's are the selfie in the bathroom shot, there are too many of them out there and it's a big turn off for all involved. There's a famous meme on the internet where a girl has left a floater in the toilet after taking a selfie. Everyone's seen it and everyone thinks of it when they see the bathroom mirror selfie. If you are going to take a selfie, keep your top on. Leave something to the imagination. Too much flesh on show just indicates that you're only interested in the physical and will only attract people wanting the same.

I saw an attractive girl posing in a bikini, yet on her profile she was complaining about the amount of pervy and disgusting messages she was receiving. It's all about giving off the right impression about yourself. She could be the nicest girl in the world but when everyone is thinking with the brain between their legs they won't see the real you.

Posing on your car is never a good look either, unless you're posting in a man seeking man section in a petrol head magazine. There may be girl racers who will like it but 95% of women will just think urgh just another car loving wanker.

I'm not just picking on the guys here, what is with the recent duck face craze for girl? It's not attractive, you'd never pull that face on your wedding pictures, for me that's an instant left swipe. Don't do it!!!

The other stereotypical picture turn offs are pictures with a heavily sedated tiger etc. It isn't cool, everyone knows it's not real and there are too many people with a similar shot.

I feel like I know my way around every corner of Asia due to the amount of people who have posted pics of Thailand/Vietnam/India. So you went on a gap year and travelled, so did everyone else.

Another bad move is the group photo shot, especially if it's your main display picture. There's nothing worse than having to go through all the images trying to work out who the profile is actually for.

I've realised that I've gone on for far too long, and you're all probably bored of reading, stay tuned for the next update!

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